No matter how many years you have been in a relationship, it is never all rainbows and unicorns. Their relationship is not perfect, and they like to share that. How many of you are out there and you love the other person, but you want more for your children and yourself? You don't want to have what you saw growing up, so you stay in the relationship because you don't want to be like your Mom and Dad and get divorced. You try to stay in the relationship for everyone but yourself. It doesn't mean you don't love your spouse; you do not like the situation.
Some people stay in it for 30 years because they didn't dare to leave. They are left wondering what their life would be like if they had made that move. How many have created a remarkable life with someone but aren't happy in it?
The reason A.Z. felt sorry for Carla was that she felt sorry for herself. Manipulation can stem from that, and a lot of people are stuck in that place because they feel they will break the person if they leave. You are doing that person an injustice, and you have to be the courageous one and tell them that you don't want to be in this relationship; they will be okay.
It always works out. They aren't broken; they aren't little kids; they are adults that can figure things out. People use the excuse of kids, but if you have older kids, they know the real story; yet you are using them as a crutch to stay there. It is perfectly normal for the kids to feel hurt, but they will be okay. You are helping them to understand that life is not perfect, and this is how to handle these kinds of situations; still loving the other person.
By staying in it, you cause a state of chaos because you think you are doing your children a favor. You aren't saving them from anything because they are living it. They are seeing a weakened person. If there is no love in the home, it is already broken, already damaged. You are instilling in your children to not take a stand for themselves, bite your tongue, and they will have to live with their choices and the consequences of them.
You have one life and decisions to make. You need to make a decision; if you decide to stay, then you need to be all in. Carla and A.Z. didn't work through it. They didn't save their marriage; they saved themselves. They went solo and worked on themselves independently. Once they figured out who they were, away from each other, then they decided they loved being in their relationship. They knew their old relationship, the one they knew had to end; they decided to come back together.
It all took that initial step of taking a stand for themselves; that is the whole premise of what they are saying today. If you are unhappy, something needs to change, because it won't change on its own. When Carla decided to work on herself, she discovered her Power and backbone, and she fell in love with who she was. When she came back to the relationship with A.Z., she had to see if she was still attracted to him. When she saw him stepping up and into who he was, she was ready to recommit to the relationship.
There are three components to attraction; Mental, Emotional, and Physical. They were always physically attracted to each other; it was the mental and emotional side that they were struggling with. They took the right measures and steps, and it would never have started if they had not taken care of themselves first.
The Prime 3 Factor is about finding your Power, and once they did, it fueled their Purpose internally and externally. From that, they realized the Profits in all aspects of their lives and the profit was confidence, money, and a great marriage. They dialed into what created their entire relationship, and it was the P3; Power, Purpose, and Profits. It's incredible how far they have come.
They both realize they are different people today but were still surprised how quickly this discussion that they had earlier went south. Don't make your spouse feel sorry for you, have them want to be there not through pity.
Stay tuned to Do the Work. Subscribe, rate, and review this podcast at www.dothework.com. There is another Woman's Event coming up in September, but it will only be open to 10 women; it will be intense. It is about breaking down the stories you have right now in your marriage, for yourself, for your business and all aspects of your life. It will impact you for the rest of your life. Keep an open for more details that are to come.